1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,004
[marching band playing]

2
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[male announcer] Gomer Pyle - USMC.

3
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<i>Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.</i>

4
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<i>Also starring Frank Sutton
as Sergeant Carter.</i>

5
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I want every inch
of these grounds policed!

6
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Every inch! Is that clear?

7
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[all] Yes, sir!

8
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:40,541
Get those heads down and pick up
everything that doesn't grow!

9
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,334
Move it!
Move it!

10
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[in southern accent]
Shazam! Look what I found!

11
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,297
- [man] What you got, Gome?
- [Gomer] Look, see it?

12
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,590
What is it? What'd you find?

13
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,467
Af our-leaf clover.

14
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- Well, aren't you lucky.
- Ain't I, though?

15
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I wonder what kind of luck
it'll bring me.

16
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,057
I wonder.

17
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All right, you people,
get back to work!

18
00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,477
Move it, move it!

19
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Back home Barbara Sue Hooverback
found one under her front porch,

20
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,108
and two weeks later,
she married Wendell Comroy.

21
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And to this day,
she still wears that clover

22
00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:09,736
in a locket around her neck on a chain.

23
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,905
- Pyle...
- She's so proud of it.

24
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She wears these real low-cut dresses
so everybody can see it.

25
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Pyle!

26
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Course, you can't see the clover
unless she opens up her locket.

27
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Shoot, she'll open up
that locket at the drop of a hat.

28
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- Pyle, knock it off!
- Yes, sir.

29
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All right, you people, fall in!

30
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All right, come on!
Move it, move it, move it, move it!

31
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A smoking lamp is lit
for one cigarette!

32
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[all] A smoking lamp is lit
for one cigarette!

33
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,186
Aye, aye, sir!

34
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Light up!

35
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Sir?

36
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- What do you want?
- I don't smoke, so would it be all right

37
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if I kept looking
for some four-leaf clovers?

38
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Get.

39
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Thank you, sir.
I might even find one for you.

40
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Wonderful.

41
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Course, you don't have a locket
that you can keep it in

42
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,830
like Barbara Sue Hooverback,

43
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:05,000
but there's other places you can keep it,
like in the sweatband of your hat

44
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,543
- or in your...
- Pyle!

45
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,712
- Sir?
- Get lost.

46
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:10,088
Yes, sir.

47
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Ten-hut!

48
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:29,858
- Afternoon, Captain!
- Good afternoon, Sergeant.

49
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,652
Could I talk to you for a moment?

50
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,990
- Something wrong, Captain?
- Not unless you call making a Marine base

51
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look like a street corner.

52
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I authorized a break
for these people, Captain.

53
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A break does not mean
ogling women Marines.

54
00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:46,416
Sergeant, inform your men that
this is an administration building

55
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and not the corner drugstore.

56
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Aye, aye, Captain.

57
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Carry on.

58
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What's the matter
with you knuckleheads?

59
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Don't you know a captain
when you see one?

60
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- Sorry, sir. We didn't see her.
- You didn't see her?

61
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You didn't see a captain?

62
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All right, you'll just
stand at attention

63
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,894
and you'll watch for captains!

64
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Good afternoon, ma'am.

65
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Private!

66
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- Yes, ma'am?
- What was that you just did?

67
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,743
- Ma'am?
- Just now, when I approached,

68
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:26,331
- what did you do?
- Uh, I guess I tipped my hat.

69
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That's right.
I tipped my hat, is what, ma'am.

70
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- You did, did you?
- Yes, ma'am.

71
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Do these bars show you
that I'm a captain?

72
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:32,754
Yes, ma'am.

73
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But the rest of the uniform
shows me that you're a lady.

74
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I always tip my hat to a lady.

75
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,971
One of your people, Sergeant?

76
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Yes, he is, Captain.

77
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It is customary for recruits
to learn to salute

78
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,685
their very first day
in the service.

79
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,353
Yes, ma'am.
Didn't he salute the Captain?

80
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,440
- He did not. He tipped his hat.
- Tipped his hat?

81
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On account of she's a lady,
and I always tip my hat to a lady.

82
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Private, do you know
your General Orders?

83
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:59,364
- Yes, ma'am. I sure do.
- What is your 10th General Order?

84
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,867
Let's see now,

85
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:05,620
"To take charge of this post
and all government property..."

86
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,872
That is your first one.

87
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:09,791
Yes, ma'am, I know it is,
but I learned 'em in order,

88
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,878
and so I have to go all the way
through 'em to get to the 10th.

89
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"To walk my post
in a military manner."

90
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:18,425
Did this man learn
military courtesy, or did he not?

91
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,801
He certainly did, Captain. I can...

92
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,928
- Then why is he not showing it?
- Well, I just don't...

93
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,431
That is a poor reflection
of his training, Sergeant,

94
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,266
- if I may say.
- [Gomer] I've got it. Here it is.

95
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:30,979
"To salute all officers and all colors
and standards not cased."

96
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That's your 10th General Order,
right there.

97
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That is correct.

98
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:38,445
And the way you do that is you raise
your right hand directly and smartly,

99
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:41,198
thumb and fingers are straight
and touching each other,

100
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,116
your upper arm is level
with the deck

101
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,285
and your forearm
at a 45-degree angle.

102
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,412
You hold that salute
until it is returned,

103
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:50,499
then cut away your hand
smartly back to your side.

104
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,960
- Do you understand?
- Yes, ma'am.

105
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,545
But wouldn't it be
a whole lot easier

106
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,173
if I just tipped my hat and said,
"Good afternoon, ma'am"?

107
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,342
Excuse me, if the Captain
will let me take over now...

108
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:03,220
No, Sergeant!
I have a much better plan.

109
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:05,388
You have this private report to me

110
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every evening this week
in my office, after duty hours.

111
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,061
I think I can teach him
the business of saluting

112
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:14,356
so that he never forgets it.
That's an order. Carry on.

113
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,574
Just think, Sergeant,
she's gonna take a whole week

114
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:27,786
just to teach me proper salutin'.
Ain't that nice of her?

115
00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,539
Gomer, why are you wastin'
your time sprucin' up?

116
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:33,041
You'll be torn to shreds
just as soon as you get to her office.

117
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,501
Ah, quit joshin', Duke.

118
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,503
She's a real nice lady,
that lady captain.

119
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,589
Gomer, that's no lady.
Do you know what they call her?

120
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,216
Captain Ironpants.

121
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,969
Yeah, Captain Ironpants.

122
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:47,097
Duke, you ought not call her that.
It ain't respectful.

123
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,683
- Well, that's what they call her...
- [man] Ten-hut!

124
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,812
Hey, Sergeant, sir.

125
00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,147
I was gettin' ready to go
to my salutin' mission.

126
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:59,067
Well, you've fixed it up
for yourself real good, boy,

127
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,986
pulling down night-school duty.

128
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:03,446
Now, you listen up
and listen good!

129
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,949
That woman is a captain!

130
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:09,244
You say, "Yes, Captain Martin.
No, Captain Martin."

131
00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:12,289
- Understand?
- Yes, sir. Captain Martin.

132
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:14,916
I don't care what
nobody else calls her.

133
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,293
Huh?

134
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,753
Do you know
what they call her on this base?

135
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,673
[whispering]

136
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,717
And it ain't respectful, neither.

137
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,016
Corporal Peters?

138
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- Yes, Captain?
- Do you type with a compact?

139
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:35,854
No, ma'am.

140
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,772
But I'm meeting Sergeant Marshall
after work,

141
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,900
and it's just a few minutes
before 1730.

142
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,986
Those few minutes
belong to this office.

143
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,322
So if you wish to indulge
in camouflage operations,

144
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,948
don't do it here.

145
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,575
Let me tell you something, Corporal,

146
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:52,996
those little feminine vanities do nothing
to further a career in the service.

147
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,498
In fact, I've found them a hindrance.

148
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:59,669
- Oh, excuse me, sir.
- That's all right.

149
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,422
- Uh, you have those requisitions, Captain?
- Yes, sir. Right here.

150
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:09,596
I, uh, saw that business
with Corporal Peters.

151
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,307
Don't you think
you're being a little rough on her?

152
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,100
No, sir, I don't. I...

153
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:17,520
After all, we haven't
secured for the night yet,

154
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,856
and we are Marines
working on a Marine base.

155
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:23,526
Yeah, well, you are also women.
I don't think it's so bad

156
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,988
if Corporal Peters
puts on a little makeup.

157
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,784
She's just trying to win
a different battle than you are.

158
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:39,501
- Have a nice evenin'.
- Oh. Thank you.

159
00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,975
Good evenin', ma'am.
Private Gomer Pyle.

160
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,686
You requested that I come here
for some extra duty.

161
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,812
So here I am.

162
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,855
Oh, yes. The hat-tipper.

163
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,525
Over here, Private.

164
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,862
These cards list
all the officers on the base.

165
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,448
I want you to file them alphabetically
in the lower drawer.

166
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,533
Yes, ma'am.

167
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,951
And so that
you'll get in practice,

168
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,578
whenever you come to a card
with a woman officer on it,

169
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,956
I want you to stand up
and salute.

170
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,127
- You mean salute the card?
- That's right.

171
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,967
Oh, is that funny, Private?
Does that strike you as funny?

172
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,011
No, ma'am.

173
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,804
All right, sit down
and get to work.

174
00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:33,805
Yes, ma'am.

175
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,350
Well, what are you
waiting for?

176
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,311
I was always taught not to sit
while a lady's standin'.

177
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,730
My mama taught me that.

178
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,566
I am a captain
in the United States Marine Corps,

179
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,234
and that is all I am to you.

180
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,153
Well, that's a lot, ma'am.
That's a whole lot.

181
00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:50,447
You bet it is! Now get busy!

182
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,366
When you're finished with that,
I have other duties for you. Sit down!

183
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,743
Yes, ma'am.

184
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,755
"Lieutenant James Parker."

185
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:12,177
"Captain Larry Brown."

186
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:16,931
Oh, here's one!

187
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,227
"Captain Martha Benedict."

188
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,689
Is that what you mean, ma'am?

189
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,368
What do you think
you're doing?

190
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,287
Well, I'm holdin' the chair out
for you, ma'am.

191
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,664
That's another thing
my mama taught me.

192
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,292
Private, listen.

193
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,795
There are a lot of things
you've learned in civilian life

194
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,838
that do not always apply here.

195
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:53,843
Now, common courtesies are fine,
but chair-pushing and hat-tipping

196
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:56,763
and other civilian niceties
are unnecessary.

197
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,973
Do you understand?

198
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,934
Yes, ma'am.

199
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,645
I appreciate you
tryin' to help me, Captain,

200
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,648
but I hope you won't be too upset
if it don't take right away.

201
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:10,235
After all, my mama had over 20 years
to drum all that into me.

202
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,946
Then we may just be here
that long!

203
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,555
Good evenin', ma'am.

204
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,558
- Private, you're late.
- I'm sure sorry about that.

205
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,768
I was almost here
when I remembered the sweets

206
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,937
and had to run all the way
back to the barracks to get 'em.

207
00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:48,273
Sweets? Recruits aren't allowed candy.

208
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,399
Where did you get it?

209
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,694
Oh, it ain't for me.
It's for you, Captain.

210
00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,362
It's just an old chocolate bar.

211
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,406
My cousin Goober sent it
to me in the mail.

212
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,324
He didn't know
we ain't supposed to have 'em.

213
00:10:58,324 --> 00:10:59,617
Thought you might like it.

214
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:02,871
Private Pyle, are you trying
to bribe me with a candy bar?

215
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,206
Gosh, no, ma'am.

216
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,002
It's just a tiny present is all.

217
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,129
Ladies should get presents.

218
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,381
Please take it.

219
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,724
Private, I've got a lot of work to do,
and so do you.

220
00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:25,393
- Suppose we get started.
- Yes, ma'am.

221
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,739
Captain?

222
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,159
If you wanna holler at me
for bein' late, you just do that.

223
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,494
Otherwise, the candy might
really look like a bribe.

224
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,579
What?

225
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,915
What I'm tryin' to say is,
it ain't really a bribe.

226
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,249
And if you'll go ahead and holler,

227
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,168
then I'll know
you think of it as a present.

228
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,127
Never mind.

229
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,587
Just go ahead and holler
and that will prove

230
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:55,340
- you don't think of it as a bribe.
- That won't be necessary!

231
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:59,010
- But, Captain, if you just...
- Pyle, get busy cleaning this office!

232
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:02,222
Now move it, move it, move it!
Go on, move it!

233
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,556
Yes, ma'am.

234
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,483
Private, what are you doing?

235
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,027
Sharpenin' these pencils
like you asked, ma'am.

236
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,528
This may be a silly question,

237
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,656
but why don't you use
the pencil sharpener?

238
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,742
What do you think that is?

239
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,036
Now resharpen those
and on the double.

240
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,873
- Ma'am?
- What is it?

241
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:32,043
If this here thing's a pencil sharpener,
it ain't got no handle.

242
00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,336
It's electric.

243
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,880
You put the pencils in,
and they sharpen themselves.

244
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,217
You're pullin' my leg, ma'am.

245
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,179
[whirring]

246
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,764
There.

247
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,100
Lord, what'll they think of next?

248
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,064
[whirring]

249
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,069
[Gomer] Electric.
Ain't that somethin'?

250
00:12:58,069 --> 00:12:59,779
[whirring]

251
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,286
Pyle! Stop playing
with that pencil sharpener!

252
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,620
Yes, ma'am.

253
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,959
There you are, ma'am.
There's the first one.

254
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,252
That sure was fun.

255
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,882
- Too short?
- Not for a golf tee,

256
00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,802
but it is too short for me!

257
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,555
I'm sorry, ma'am.
I can see that now.

258
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,515
A lady shouldn't use
a stubby pencil.

259
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:28,891
You might break your fingernails

260
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,144
and ruin all that nice
banana-smellin' polish.

261
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,521
I don't have long fingernails,

262
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:37,066
and I don't wear that nice
banana-smelling polish.

263
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:40,153
That's right.
You sure enough don't, ma'am.

264
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,072
Could've swore you did.
Maybe you ought to.

265
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:46,034
- What?
- Well, ma'am, you have such nice hands.

266
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,910
Long fingernails
and that red gook

267
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,371
could make 'em even look
that much nicer.

268
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,957
Well, I'll go sharpen me
some more pencils now.

269
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,642
Pyle!

270
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,812
Oh, hey, Sergeant, sir.
I didn't see you.

271
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,398
Pyle, the rest of the people
are on a rest period.

272
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:20,818
- What are you doing?
- Just a little private policin', sir.

273
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,820
What's the matter?
Don't you have enough to do

274
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,364
between Captain Martin and myself?

275
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:28,826
Oh, yes, sir, but this is different.
You see, I'm just lookin' for tinfoil.

276
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,161
Tinfoil?

277
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:33,039
Yes, sir. It's a surprise
for Captain Martin.

278
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:36,793
You're gonna surprise Captain Martin
with a ball of tinfoil?

279
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,670
Oh, no, sir. The tinfoil is
just for the decoration.

280
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,131
The real surprise
is underneath that.

281
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:44,342
Carry on.

282
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,468
Yes, sir.

283
00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,817
Good evenin', ma'am.

284
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,027
Is that a new way
to stand at attention?

285
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:06,823
No, ma'am. It's just that I know
how ladies like to be surprised.

286
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:07,949
What?

287
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,870
I found 'em growin' wild
back yonder at the back gate.

288
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,664
They're for you. Take 'em.

289
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,959
Oh, uh...

290
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,878
[stammering] That's very nice, Private.

291
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,840
But I'm afraid I don't have anything
to keep them in, so I can't accept...

292
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,007
How's this?

293
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,135
- What's that?
- Homemade vase.

294
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,639
Pretty, ain't they?

295
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:34,183
Yes. Yes, they are.

296
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,519
This here vase is
just an old milk bottle

297
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:37,979
I found back of the mess hall.

298
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,690
I covered it in tinfoil
on account I didn't think

299
00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:42,775
a vase ought to say
"low fat" on it.

300
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,198
Thank you, Private.

301
00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,658
You're welcome, ma'am.

302
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:53,286
I think a lady should have
pretty things on her desk.

303
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,127
All right, Private,
may as well secure for the night.

304
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,796
- Check that window, will you?
- Yes, ma'am.

305
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:13,389
Shazam!
Would you look at that moon.

306
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,350
Boy, it'd sure be a great night
for gas watchin' back home.

307
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,811
Private, finish up
and you could shove off.

308
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,480
Yes, ma'am.

309
00:16:26,194 --> 00:16:27,487
Gas watching?

310
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,198
Yes, ma'am.

311
00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:33,201
Back home, I used to work
at this fillin' station.

312
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:36,287
Whenever there'd be a shiny moon
and I'd be workin' nights,

313
00:16:36,287 --> 00:16:38,956
I used to spill out
a little gas on the concrete

314
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:41,959
and watch the reflection
that the moon made on it.

315
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:45,004
All them shiny colors
and runny lines.

316
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,297
I see.

317
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,383
Sometimes this girl I knew
named Ida Carrington,

318
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,010
she'd come over and sit with me,

319
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,888
and we'd eat
a bag of pine nuts together.

320
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:57,058
We'd just sit there
and look at all them runny lines

321
00:16:57,058 --> 00:17:01,521
and listen to old Lester Pruit's hound dog
bayin' away at the moon.

322
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,774
Way off yonder, you could hear
the whistle off the Nashville train

323
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:05,900
passin' through.

324
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,069
[imitates train whistle]

325
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:11,697
And that's the only sound there'd be.
Except, every once in a while,

326
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,909
Ida Carrington crackin' open
a pine nut with her teeth.

327
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,373
I'm sorry, ma'am.
I didn't mean to run off like that.

328
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:23,918
I'm sure a lady like you has got
a lot better memories of moonlit nights

329
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:27,213
than chompin' away at pine nuts
and lookin' at gas.

330
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:35,012
Well, I guess I'll shove off
if the Captain don't need nothin' else.

331
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,473
No. No, that'll be all.

332
00:17:37,473 --> 00:17:40,309
Well, see you
tomorrow night, ma'am.

333
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,729
Good night, Captain.

334
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,705
Off to your nightly date
with Captain Ironpants?

335
00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:05,209
- I wish you'd stop callin' her that.
- Why?

336
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:07,545
Well, it ain't respectful,
and she's a lady.

337
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:10,214
A lady? Oh, Gomer, look alive.

338
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:13,050
Well, she is,
and she's a real nice lady, too.

339
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,510
You know what I bet, Gomer?

340
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,013
I bet she's got
a tattoo on her arm.

341
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,059
You know what, Duke?
You ain't a gentleman, is what.

342
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:24,228
- Huh?
- Talkin' that way about a lady.

343
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:25,646
It's just crude talk.

344
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,981
[Duke] Oh, come on.

345
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,858
It's true.
It ain't nothin' but crude talk.

346
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:31,986
Gomer, it's just too bad you're
only a boot and she's a captain.

347
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:34,363
Otherwise, you could take her out.
Can you picture that, fellas?

348
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,282
Gomer out dancin'
with Captain Ironpants?

349
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,950
She'd probably wanna lead.

350
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,246
It's crude talk.
It ain't nothin' but crude talk.

351
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:44,915
You're crude, Duke!
You're awful crude!

352
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,354
[big band music playing]

353
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,627
[music stops]

354
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:32,046
Good evenin', Captain.
I didn't hear you come in.

355
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:35,091
This is an office, Private,
not a dance hall.

356
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,717
Yes, ma'am.

357
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:39,512
I'm sorry about that.

358
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,472
It's just that whenever
I hear any kind of music,

359
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,349
my feet just naturally
start movin'.

360
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,726
Before I know it,
all of me's movin'.

361
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,021
Do you dance, ma'am?

362
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,314
I beg your pardon?

363
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,565
I said, do you dance?

364
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:53,818
No.

365
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,862
Oh, that's a shame.

366
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,906
- That's a real shame.
- What?

367
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,701
I mean, 'cause dancin'
is just about the most fun there is,

368
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,119
once you get the hang of it.

369
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,871
Private, g-get on with your work.

370
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,206
Yes, ma'am.

371
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,587
Captain?

372
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,090
What now?

373
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,384
I bet there are a lot of
nice officers on this base

374
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,094
that are just dyin' for you to learn.

375
00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:23,139
- Look, here...
- Like that Colonel Van Pelt.

376
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:26,183
I seen him through the officers'
club window one night while I was on duty

377
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:29,311
and he was dancin' with a girl
not half as pretty as you.

378
00:20:31,021 --> 00:20:32,273
Private,

379
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,401
you may go back
to your quarters now.

380
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,071
Yes, ma'am.

381
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,334
Captain?

382
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,591
If you'll excuse me
for sayin' this.

383
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,427
Well, I know that
you're a top-notch Marine,

384
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,471
and you really work hard at it.

385
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,391
But you was a lady
before you was a Marine.

386
00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:10,186
And a mighty fine lady, too.

387
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:14,607
So maybe if you'd work a little

388
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:16,901
at that...

389
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,820
I mean... Maybe...

390
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:22,907
Maybe my nickname
wouldn't be Ironpants?

391
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,161
Why, I...

392
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,537
[stammering] I never...

393
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,211
Good night, ma'am.

394
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,517
- Good night, Captain.
- Good night, sir.

395
00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:52,561
[sniffing]

396
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:56,357
- Captain Martin?
- Yes, sir?

397
00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:00,069
That's very nice.
Whatever it is you have on.

398
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,238
Thank you, sir.

399
00:22:02,905 --> 00:22:05,032
Very nice. Very nice, indeed.

400
00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,717
Good evenin', ma'am. I was...

401
00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:28,138
Whoa! Don't you look nice, ma'am.

402
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,515
Thank you, Private.

403
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,643
Real, real nice.

404
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,857
Well, what would you like
for me to do this evenin'?

405
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:41,235
Private Pyle, you've completed your week
of extra duty with me, you know.

406
00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:44,613
It won't be necessary for you
to come back here anymore.

407
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:45,990
Oh, heck!

408
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:48,409
What?

409
00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:52,413
I was beginnin' to enjoy comin' here
every evenin' after chow, ma'am.

410
00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:54,248
And I'm gonna miss it, is what.

411
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:59,336
But don't you worry. I won't forget
the lesson you wanted me to learn.

412
00:22:59,336 --> 00:23:01,839
I'll salute all officers
whether they're man or woman.

413
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,257
Good.

414
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:06,510
And next time you come passin' by,
I know just what I'll do.

415
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,262
- May I?
- Mmm-hmm.

416
00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:13,392
Good afternoon, ma'am.

417
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,688
- Very good, Private.
- Thank you, ma'am.

418
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:20,566
Well...

419
00:23:21,275 --> 00:23:24,153
I don't reckon I'll be seein'
much of you anymore, ma'am.

420
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,405
Goodbye, Private.

421
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,824
Goodbye, ma'am.

422
00:23:32,328 --> 00:23:34,413
- Private?
- Ma'am?

423
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:39,168
There are hundreds of men on this base
who salute me when I walk by.

424
00:23:40,628 --> 00:23:42,254
If you should forget

425
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,423
and tip your hat instead
when I pass...

426
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:49,929
Well, if no one else is around,
I'll try not to notice.

427
00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:53,349
Oh, don't you worry, ma'am.
I won't never forget.

428
00:23:53,349 --> 00:23:54,558
Well...

429
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:57,227
Bye, ma'am.

430
00:23:57,227 --> 00:23:58,270
[stammering]

431
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,281
All right, let's go!
Let's pick it all up!

432
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,617
Let's move it! Move it, move it!

433
00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,036
Attention!

434
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:17,498
Afternoon, sir.
Afternoon, ma'am.

435
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:24,797
As you were! All right, let's go!
Let's pick it all up!

436
00:24:24,797 --> 00:24:26,548
Let's get this area cleaned up!

437
00:24:28,092 --> 00:24:30,719
Something interesting
catch your eye, Private?

438
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:33,138
Don't she look nice, Sergeant?

439
00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:35,099
Don't she look real nice?

440
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:39,269
- Huh?
- Captain Martin. Don't she look nice?

441
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:40,771
Bless her heart.

442
00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:43,691
Pyle, that is a Marine captain
you're looking at.

443
00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:46,151
That's all. A Marine captain!

444
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,445
Oh, yes, sir. But she's a lady.

445
00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:51,240
She's a real fine lady.